The power of a compliment

 

Last Saturday there was a religious holiday in Romania, the birth of Virgin Mary. My grandmother is also called Mary, so early in the morning I made my way to Buzau to gift her a bouquet of flowers and eat some cake next to the celebrated one. Unfortunately, the health condition of my grandmother is not so good (so we had to postpone the cake) and the visit got me more worried than glad. I left my grandma’s house sad, actually bypassing the road to Bucharest and driving up to the mountains to clear my brain. It worked. Changing the usual environment and the clean air have distracted me, and I was lucky enough to even enjoy meeting some of the girls who are following me. I left the mountains feeling better, also, maybe because of a nice happening once I got to the castle (I’m talking about the Cantacuzino Castle, where these pictures were taken). The castle is beautiful and I try to photograph it whenever I get to visit Buşteni – much more now, when I unintentionally matched my dress to the façade of the castle. We gave a few laps to the field, walked through the park, pulled air into our lungs, and then decided to take the pictures. As we started, a lady from the tables on the terrace approached me. I originally thought she was someone from the castle management who was planning to banish me on the grounds of “YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE PICTURES HERE!” as has happened to me so many times before. She was not. The lady had come to compliment my outfit and to ask me where did I get the deux-pieces from.

– “It’s not a deux-pieces, it’s a dress actually,” I said. It is connected here in the waist, giving the feeling that there are two pieces.

– It’s beautiful, anyway! Where is it from?

– Thank you! STEFANEL.

– Can I still find it in the shops?

– I bought it yesterday so it should still be available.

The conversation was exactly as I wrote it here, and maybe it’s just a small thing or it seems insignificant, but it’s the lady’s compliment that originally took me out of my not so happy mood. A smile and a short conversation up to 30 seconds, nothing more.

Now that I think about it, I remembered that I had seen a Mark Twain quote somewhere about compliments. It sounded something like this “I can live for two months on a good compliment”.

Now … I do not know if I can “live for two months” just because of a compliment, but I firmly believe that a sincere compliment from the heart, with no hidden intent, will have a major impact on the complimented one. Especially in the case of a less happy day, as I had.

You are seen, you are heard, you are accepted, someone validates your presence and appreciates it. Disinterested compliments are small proofs of affection; they are not required and do not take more than a few seconds, but the effects can last for a day or even a lifetime. Take two seconds and think when was the last time someone told you something beautiful, out of the blue. Maybe you did something good, maybe you have awesome hair, maybe you have a fabulous smile or you’re wearing a nice dress (ahem, ahem), whatever it is, you definitely feel empowered when encouraged from the outside. It is human nature, we all seek to be accepted and validated by our fellows.

For inspiration, look how powerful a compliment can be:

 

 

The dress that got it all started is part of the autumn/winter collection 2019 from STEFANEL. It’s soft and fluffy, being made from wool and cashmere and in my case, loaded with emotions 🙂 To be worn when visiting your grandmother, when taking walks in the mountain or to the office. Worn here with shoes from an old Marc Jacobs collection , a vintage purse, a vintage bracelet and a no name necklace.

Now … when did you last offer a sincere compliment?